New  »   Gator Country  ·  Pony  ·  Sunshine Jen  ·  Post-Modern Drunkard  ·  Robot Journal
You know how I feel about Lord Simcoe Day
You know it is a deep, personal sacrifice for me to be working on Simcoe Day. Normally, I make this a day of meditative, spiritual reflection. I fast, I pray, I play lacrosse, I iron my provincial flag and fill vases with trilliums.
But it is really for the love of my country that I am at work on this statutory holiday of religious and historical significance. After all, those vacationing in cottage country need their online news, and who, but I or a small army of monkeys, could perform this task for them?

John Graves Simcoe, aristocrat, founder of Ontario, Loyalist to the Queen, enemy to France, and reknowned "fathead": I imagine you in your canoe, hovering above Upper Canada, your dog Jack Sharp at your side and a mug of mead in your hand, commanding with a plummy voice befitting the first Lieutenant-Governor:
"On this day, all ye God-fearing wokers at our nation's public broadcaster shall receive Time and a Half for your toils."

«« past   |   future »»

«« past   |   future »»

Previous Posts
That time facebook killed a robot
Vaccine dreams and waiting for some release
It's okay to miss who you used to be
What's a Nice Jewish Girl Doing With a Tree Like This?
How To Celebrate Mother's Day When You've Lost Your Mom
Cassette Players Were A Pain, But There Was Nothing More Romantic Than A Mixtape

all comments

post #321
bio: adina

first post
that week

Share This

Category List
bun in the oven
February Smackdown
me likey
monkey cake
open letters

My Links