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Things I Did Not Know
1. Some people get pregant right away. For others it takes a few months. Some people need to go to the doctor and get a little fertility drug action. Before you try, you never know what kind of person you are going to be - you spend your whole life trying to not get pregnant, and then one day you are trying to get those suckers to meet up and fertilize.

I now think that it's a bad idea to ask people when they are planning on having kids. They might not ever want kids, but be afraid to insult you, or they might be trying and not telling you. Unless they are your friends, or unless they offer the info, don't ask.

2. Since being pregnant, I know this is weird, but these days I've been thinking about people who need to have abortions. The more I think about it, the more I think RU-486 needs to be legal and accessible. It would be so awful to know you were pregnant and then to have to sit with an unwanted pregnancy for weeks until your appointment.

3. Something like 20 per cent of women miscarry in the 1st trimester. That statistic will stay with you and FREAK YOU OUT until the end of the 12th week. What they don't tell you in books is that that statistic gets smaller as the weeks progress. What they do tell you: there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage in the first trimester. If the fetus is not viable, it simply isn't meant to be. No amount of bed rest can stop it. You still shouldn't be moving furniture, though.

4. Spotting. Maybe you will be see some blood in the first trimester. I did. It is the last thing you want to see. It will make you turn white. If it is just a little bit of blood, you are probably ok, though. But waiting to see if any more blood will come - one of the most anxious things ever. It is not normal to bleed. It is also not uncommon. If you call your midwife, she will ask you a lot of questions, and make you feel a lot better.

5. The internet is a great source of information, but filled with inaccuracies and crazy-making information. Ask your doctor/midwife about the important stuff.

6. Your waistline is the first to go. To compensate, you will have awesome boobs. There will be this weird period where nothing fits but it is too early for mat clothes. Borrow from your guy, if you have one, and if he is not skinnier than you.

7. I don't know if this is common, but my hair looks awful and it feels really waxy.

8. The news. The news. It hurts to watch the news more than ever. It feels wrong, somehow, to tune it out, but it hits so hard to see escalating violence in the world into which you are bringing another person. People will tell you that every generation felt this way. I am not sure how I feel about that either.

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post #1202
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