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poop beetle: follow up
7.2002
A follow up to my recent post about beating children:
I swatted Awais on the bottom today. It was in anger. He'd bitten me, hard. His baby brother is biting & I guess he thought it looked like fun.
He was incensed by the spank. You slapped me! / No. I swatted you. /You hit me!/ Well! you bit me!
And there you have it- why spanking doesn't work- doesn't teach a thing- just makes you look and sound like an idiot.
I spanked you because you bit me and hurting people is wrong.
Not only is Awais not playing with me ever again- he has told me I am rude.
The thing is time-out works. I don't know why. Just the threat goes a long way with my kid. "If you don't knock that off- I'm sending you to sit in a room full of toys."
He will burst into tears, anything but that.
What also seems to work is fake choices. "You can get into bed now and I will read you a story, or you can go to bed now- with no stories. It's your choice."
The cat is also biting. Awais and I talked about it and he understands she's just a kitten and doesn't understand she's playing too rough and that is why he should not whack her on the head when she does that.
And of course he sees I'm not spanking Haaris over the biting. Because he's just a baby entering the terrible twos- about three months ago at the age of 15 months.
If he's like his brother it will last till he's 3.
But I'm better prepared for it this time around. I speak with more firmness and more of a suspension of disbelief.
Because child rearing is a lot about faith. I have faith whatever is going on now does not mean he will grow up to break into people's houses.
I tell him "Ouch! No! NO Biting, Haaris!"
He shakes his head no. He says "Ouch!" He says "NO!". And then lunges once more at my shoulder/ankle/butt.
In fact Haaris is crying now. Right this minute because no one will let him sink his teeth into their flesh. His father says- "This is why people send their kids to boarding school."
He says, "you've got to get in here. Ouch! Help".
