 |
poop beetle: John Ball is someone
8.2005
. . . who lives in my head.
John Ball is someone who has lived 37 years and when I say this I don't get frightened for him or whatever idea I have of him, he's made of stuff that has and will age well.
Johnny has this thing he does, and this might be the thing that's especially stayed with me as an idea, an intriguing possibility- this thing where he calls the pace.
I know you live in N.Y. now, where everything's different- but I imagine, whether you realize it or not you're still slowing people down, throwing them off message, making folks pause or hesitate without overt bullying or power games- (although if you've developed some of those, I wouldn't blame you. You have a family now and that will push us all to do whatever we must to protect and defend. Plus it's kind of interesting to test ourselves as protectors- just to see. Plus, if you pause to note and reflect on it and don't feel too glad, only a smidge of surprise and relief over your own empowerment and then more reflection on how wacky that is- it doesn't actually count.). . . . ok, you get to feel some pleasure as well. A little bit- the stretching of father/husband muscles to balance the anxiety and fear is allowed.
You are a romantic character. You are wry. You are hyper and manic and sleepy.
I always liked that.
You are fierce and loyal and if cornered you would bite and kick and punch and spit. You wouldn't like it, although you imagine yourself doing that just to prepare for the day you might have to. You already know you'll feel foolish, and that's another reason you prepare- cost analysis shows it's not worth it to you not to be ready to look silly.
Do you imagine various routs of exit for your family in case there's a fire? I somehow imagine you do.
In addition, I'd like to announce that you're also oddly neat and clean. I imagine you as a momma's boy- but I don't know that for a fact.
You wear your clothes and your space (they don't wear you)- THAT's one of the main reasons I think you will always age well.
I am always interested in everything that happens to you. You don't take anything for granted, nothing just happens to you that you don't live, live with humbleness and awe and whatever birth year you happen to be on- you own them all. You make it all look like accident, but I don't think it is.
Happy Birthday, kid! We're all happy you came about.
