My Ass! Yea, usually on Monday morning my ass is sore, but isn't everyone's ass sore after a good weekend? On Sunday, since it was so beautiful, me and the missus rode our bikes over to Park Slope, down to Coney Island, over to Bay Ridge, up by the Verazzano bridge, crossed over to 5th avenue and took that 50 some blocks back to Park Slope and then home. It really wasn't that long of a ride, and when I was a 'cyclist' teen this would have been nothing. But my seat is not adjusted correctly and I spent a lot of time moving around trying to find the right position or height. And my handlebars are a bit off adjustment wise. Oh, and I don't ride nearly as much as I used to.
I like people - and squeezing their octopi. Last night we went and met some robot folks at the Boat Basin on the upper west side. We had never been there (except for riding by it on the bike path) and it's a pretty cool space - save squealing mid-30's former sorority sisters at the bar. (wow - the boat basin has a pretty ugly website) On the way there we ran into a traffic jam with people actually out of the cars screaming at each other - featuring my favorite retard argument "Don't disrespect me!!" yelled by a Russian woman at an Asian man. Then some guy tries to run us over and I give him the finger.
On the way home, we are on the platform waiting for the train and it's the usual covered-in-feces drunks, one who harasses this woman who I think had just given her a dollar. We get on the train and something happens with this couple near us where the man pokes the woman in her face and she gets mad and moves in front of us doing that annoying mumble thing - "touch me again, I'll kick his ass. Who does he think he is. I am sick of his stuff". And then she starts quietly singing. He stays in his seat and keeps trying to talk to some student type who is obviously trying to study.
This morning there is a sick passenger on the train so we are delayed, which means that we are running late, which means that at every stop the platform will be crowded. If you are a regular F-Train rider you know that this is a bad combination if you haven't got to Delancey Street - the subway stop of retards (Sorry to my friends who live there and use that station - you are not retarded). Oh my lord. I have never wanted to massacre people more than this morning. Rude ass retards pushing to get on. I actually called this one woman an idiot.
Dear Delancey street, If it's that crowded, there is probably a train right behind it. I know your mother told you to get on the train and get to work as soon as possible, but sometimes other people ('other people' are people who aren't you or your mother) don't like to be crushed when you literally claw your way into the car.
Yours truly, F-Train rider #8,372,912
Naturally this all leads to Star Wars Seeing Star Wars at a very impressionable age (kind of an 'Imprinting' thing) I sometimes think about it a bit too much. One thing I have been pondering the past few years is how they will turn the young Darth Vader from annoying to evil. Or, just how does someone who is good become evil. I have pondered and pondered it and then this morning I realized that I was living it. As I was walking to work, cursing humanity and thinking of new ways to disembowel people on the subway, I realized, "hey! Look at me! I'm evil now!" Today at work I plan on using my crazy jedi choking trick on some people - and maybe shoot some lightning out of my fingers. ZAP!
Puppy + Kitten Rescue service All of this then spawned a business idea. Let's say you are me. Weird, huh? OK, you are having a crappy morning and actually thinking of killing people. What do you do? You can't function very well with this attitude. You call the Puppy + Kitten Rescue service and one of the PKRS helicopters swoops down and zooms you off to the their office in the country - away from all the hub-bub. There you can relax in a hot tub, or get a massage, or sit in the yard while puppies and kittens run and jump around you. Anyone want to help me write up the business plan for this?
