Dear lazy ass doped up Americans, This morning while dressing for "work", I heard on the news that the traditional, classic American meth lab was being replaced by meth labs controlled by violent Mexican gangs.
I was disgusted.
We can't even keep meth labs running anymore? What kind of country are we? Are we so lazy that we think running a meth lab is "below" us?
See the pattern here? If we let the Mexicans take our crystal meth production, what's next? Do we just let them take over our production of goofballs? Or devil red uppers? Or tiny brownies?
I know that many of you share my same belief in thinking global and buying local, and when I go to buy either my crystal meth or tiny brownies from my neighbor, I want to know that my wrinkly five dollar bills are going to American meth labs and not some meth sweat shop located across the border in friggin Mexico-towne or god forbid... China!
As Americans, we should demand American made crystal meth!
Think about the troops What message are we sending them? "Here I am risking my life so that my fellow countrymen can go and give their hard-earned American dollars to foreign gangs when they need their meth or devil red uppers or tiny brownies or cleveland slammer fix?"
And then there is our national security. Do you think Al Qaeda hasn't noticed our dependence on foreign tiny brownies? Don't you think they are probably scheming right now how to get in on that trade and start raising more money for the killers to kill Americans while at the same time selling us low quality narcotics?
Before you go driving down the road to Gary's house - stop. Think about it. Buy American.