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post #625
bio: rich

first post
that week

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Questions I am asked most about martial arts

From the mailbag!
Running a huge internet powerhouse like happyrobot is a full time job - and part of the job is answering mail from countless fans. Sometimes the load of mail can be overwhelming, but I always try to take time out from internet programming (and stunt bike competing (and martial arts pondering)) to respond to our fans.

It's a well known fact that I am a professional internet programmer, but some of you may not be familiar with my years as an martial arts expert. Here are some of the questions I have received recently about martial arts...

what exactly did it feel like when you defeated the leader of the cobra kai in 1984?

Great question.
What a great year that was. When I wasn't working on my clay bust of Lionel Richie, I spent a lot of time at my "dojo" (or "fighting hole") training for the "All Valley Karate Championship".
Oddly, I didn't live in a valley and they didn't really specify which valley the competition took place in, so there was some initial confusion. But there was no confusion as to what my goal was: To beat Cobra Kai in 1984.

The maintenance man in our building was an integral part of the process. Silvino taught me valuable lessons by making do repetitive tasks over and over again that were actually helping me learn defensive blocks.
"Take out the recycling!" - punch!
"Use the snake to clean out your bathroom sink of your wife's hair!" - kick!
"Re-caulk the bathtub!" - punch!

When the music stopped and we knew that my training collage was over, I then set out to find out which valley the competition took place in. Being that this was 1984 and I hadn't invented the AOL yet, it was a bit of a laborious process - that, to be honest, wasn't worth producing a movie-style collage to.

So, what did it feel like when I defeated Cobra Kai and realized that I was the champion of a valley?

How dangerous is it to Wang Chung?

Wang Chung is kind of a pain in the ass. He's not really dangerous, unless you are his dog, who is dangerously overweight.

Has a monkey ever stolen your peach?

Peaches? No. I keep those in a monkey safe.
Oddly, a monkey safe is not something to keep a monkey in, but is a device to keep monkeys out.

In addition to peaches, I also keep the following in my monkey safe:
- My stunt bike trophies
- Illegal karate books
- Oranges
- Carrots
- My china tea set
- Sausages

why did you go to that costume party dressed as a shower?

It was part of my training.
"Go to a costume party dressed as a shower!" - Punch! Kick! Punch!

Awesome. Kick. Punch.
»jb ||  7/23/2007 ||  12:30:13 AM
Do you blame yourself for Ali. To end up a prostitute in Las Vegas you must have really hurt her. A real punch, kick to the heart.
»ab ||  7/23/2007 ||  10:33:15 AM

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