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In Canada we spell it neighbours
next door martial arts guy: He is goofy with a good heart. He does a lot of martial arts and trains competitively as a sumo wrestler. He is very fair, and likes to strut around shirtless, showing his hairless chest with nipples that look like tart'n'tinies. He works as a bouncer. Sometimes I catch myself thinking he is dumb, but then I realise he is not. Tells the same joke a lot. I would like to find him a girlfriend because he seems lonely.

Guy next door who yells at his kids when they come on weekends: I will not name names but he yells at them less these days.

Mousey mouse: has kep me and Chris up 4 nights straight. I think he is caught under the floorboards. Wish he would go away.

John: He died last month. He had bladder cancer. He used to make machine parts down on Strachan. He liked to watch baseball. He never complained. His huge cat had fleas. He used to like to go to the horseraces before he got sick.

Mary: She wants to scatter John's ashes in the garden. She is in her 70's and she left her whole family in Georgia (including her little kids) because she says she hated the Vietnam war. I am not sure why else she left it all for Canada, but I feel like I shouldn't ask. She is Emily's godmother. She tends our garden, smokes hand-rolled cigarettes, and leaves kissy sounds on my answering machine at the end of messages.

Emily: She got me into the building. Her cat is named Lucy. What can I say about Em, except she is such a great friend and generous, honest, loyal, and silly.

Igor: You all know Igor. His bike shop is down the street. His pickup truck says 'bad attitude'. He buys bikes from anyone. Your bike stolen? Everyone says "go look for it at Igor's". Except he won't let you in his shop unless you lie about what you are looking for. He is not in my building, but he is around the corner. I hear he used to be a police officer in Slovenia.

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