Open letter to GMAIL I heart you. But you have to improve the way you manage the address book. It is a mess. I hate M$ as much as the next boob, but their little 'address card' motif in Outlook looked good and made sense. Then there is the export feature. Your data fields are way too loosey goosey for me. Everyone needs a first name and last name field. And address(1), address(2), city, state, zip. All broken out and nice. Fix that and I will tattoo google ads onto my face.
Open letter to group of parents discussing nannies on the train this morning You were some pompous douche bags. Do you even realize that nannies are actual people? Thanks for setting my biological baby clock back a few hours. Everyone enjoyed your conversation.
Open letter to G-Phone Announce something. I am about to buy an iPhone. What if I do, and then the next day you are like, "Here comes the G-Phone and it's wide open and runs on any providers network and makes brownies". And there I'll be, like a chump for two years with an AT&T iPhone.
Open letter to new 9th Street Espresso in Chelsea Market If I could marry a whole coffee shop, it would be you. So quirky and cute. The coffee, by the way, is *THE* best. I have thought about coming into the city ON THE WEEKEND just to get coffee from you. An Australian co-worker who generally hates the coffee in the USA (GO BACK TO WHEREEVER IT IS YOU ARE FROM!!) has declared your shop as the best in NYC and his faith in America (WOOO!) has been restored.
Open letter to co-workers Take your damn vitamins. Quit coughing. Enough!
Open letter to my brain Obviously, you don't like the "studying" I have to do now with it's forcing words into your gooey brainy interior. Every time I sit down to read something about the cellular structure of skins of a grape or something about rootstock, you take the opportunity to suggest other things to think about. "Remember that time in the Star Wars..." "I don't think your wife is wearing clothes. Go check!" "The cat wants to play with her string toy."
Open letter to people going in to cancer center down the street Every day I pass you. Getting out of a car and hobbling towards the door. Sometimes you are really old and other times you are younger than I am. Either way, watching you walk into the cancer center makes my heart ache. It also made me go to the dermatologist last month.
Open letter to grapes You guys are so plucky!
Open letter to pet cat I adore that you like to sleep on/around me - it's just that you keep hogging the space around my feet recently and it makes for a fitful sleep when my feet can't find space to be comfortable. Maybe move closer to my head like you did during the summer?
Open letter to other people's livers How do you drink so much? I can't do it.
