Robot Journal : Cats hate pills

4/27/2009

Feline Blogger

I don't want to become a cat blogger here, but giving pills to a cat is a pain.
Wait. Let me correct that: we don't "give" pills - we force pills. Into her mouth. While she is protesting and summoning demon cat spirits from the underworld.
Awesome way to start the day.

She knows when I am coming to get her for her medicine. We usually have a little chase, but because she is a cat and is ultimately not that bright, she tends to run to the same places every time. I scoop her up and she whines and makes this sound that I swear is the cat equivalent of "Noooooooooo!".

Currently it's a two person job. I usually sit on her (giddyup!) and hold her front legs. Mrs. Robot is stuck with the job of opening the jaws and shoving the pill in. We modified this process a few weeks ago to include the "purrito" method which involves also wrapping her up in a towel as if she was the feline filling of the worst burrito ever.

Mrs. Robot is due to leave town this week, so I will somehow be in charge of this process.
I suspect I'll just take her to the vet each morning. Or load them into a BB gun and shoot them in her mouth when she yawns.
Or look into some sort of tiny gun that shoots a tiny dart like they do when they want to tag an animal.

Bottom
You know, the gross thing is that this process would probably much easier if we had to give her a suppository.
Maybe? Maybe not.

Catospital

The other cat-bloggy thing is the fact that we spend time at the animal emergency place nearby. Our cat has a normal vet, but the emergency guys have kind of taken over her care since the beginning of the year.
So, I am in there from time to time either taking the cat in for a check-up or picking up some sort of pill to torture her with.

My point is that I have spent a little time in their waiting room and while most of that time has been pleasant, a small percentage of it has been heartbreaking and sad. Too many people rushing in with limp animals in the arms and tears streaming down their faces.
Ugh.

On that note, if you are in Brooklyn with a very sick animal, the folks at VERG (The Veterinary Emergency & Referral Group) rock the house as far as animal care goes.

People Hospital
I don't like people hospitals either. I mean, who really does.
My office at International Cubicle World is near a big cancer center and many times when I am walking to or from work (or at lunch or when I sneak out to buy a cookie or if I am drunk on old scotch or if I am not wearing pants) I'll pass the cancer place as people are being dropped off for their appointments. Many times it will be obvious as to who the patient is... unstable steps from the car and a worried relative on their arm as they are guided to the front door.

Sometimes I just want to stop and go into a fetal position on the ground and whimper.
Fcking cancer.

In Other News
I have great stories of things drank, eaten, and seen. Stay tuned.

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