Last night I was drafted into the service of the rock and/or roll when my foan rang and a voice on the other side said, "Eric, we got 50 bucks, free beer and a cab ride home that says you'll come sell t-shirts during our concert tonight". So I heeded the call and rushed to the Bowery Ballroom where I stood behind a lovely banquet table and sold t-shirts for Rich Robinson's new outfit Hookah Brown.
And get this; Whereas on previous nights they sold maybe 12-16 shirts, LAST night (thanks no doubt to my awesome salesmanship...haw) I sold 60 shirts! Got that, fuckers?! One guy even bought 6 shirts and gave me 10 clams on top of the purchase price!
So I think I've found my calling. In the words of Robinson's engineer, I sold more shirts because I'm "cuter than that old woman we had the last few nights".
So, to specify the old saying a little; BALDING SEX SELLS T-SHIRTS.
I also used this 'glory time' to whore my own band's new CD on these guys. And remember people, my band is the MOST SERIOUS BAND EVER!!! Got that? We're serious! Can you see we're SERIOUS?!?! VERY SERIOUS INDEED!!! When we write music, we don't screw around! No sir! We're trying to give birth to something great, so there's no time for making jokes in a band like this one, let me tell you!
