Stories of the love gone bad lovestinks
The Stories...
girl of my dreams dumped me! 
dumped through a text message. 
crazy brits 
dumped by a huge loser 
unbelievable: he broke up with me! 
what are the odds? 
 
i was dumper and dumpee 
dumped on national tv 
dumped by a loser 
pretty girl 
summertime math girl 
a david lynchy kind of love 
 
why valentine's day shouldn’t exist 
potato boy rejection 
loser 
pee on leg 
my semi-formally formal 
dangling in the tournifouria 
 
dumped on new years by finacee 
dumped by his fiancee 
intruder alert 
mrs. robot would not go out with me 
double dump 
love me back. 
 
rat bastard asshole 
worst road trip ever 
she came in through the balcony window 
bank farm bag 
rhapsody in black and blue 
tea time 
 
friends hold hands 
what are you trying to say? 
go back to montana 
technically 
regret! regret! 
i'll have that sex to go... 
 
no, you can't have any of my fries 
but i got a boner for you in the maimi 
kissing my mom 
the famous blue raincoat 
007 the hard way 
i should gotten a clue? 
 
moss mouth 
rollerskating party 
right this way sir 
boob 
orangina 
two bad 
 
not my flannel sheets! 
down boy! down! 
ally mcbeal 
the road less traveled by 
fetal position 
oooo, soundtracks 
 
soundtracks for dumpees 
what's so damn funny? 
he lived in his parents' garage 
yellow shoes 
give me book! i will read it! 
poo boy. 
 
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here 
todd synagogue 
mrs flynt's heartbreak class 
computer held hostage 
don't leave / do leave 
Love Stinks. Sometimes we get dumped.
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rollerskating party
by Heart like a wheel
I was in love with a boy named David from Kindergarten to the third grade. Thing is, I am pretty sure he liked me, too. I would fantasize elaborate romantic scenarios where we would meet behind the bike shed in the schoolyard. He would be kicking a soccer ball and I would be on the way to a game of “Mother May I”, and we would meet and kiss and then it would fade to black.

One day, in the second grade, we were both at a rollerskating party for Marni Mendelson when the couples' dance was announced. That was when then lights dimmed, the disco ball spun, and my favorite song in the whole wide world came on: "I'm all outta love, I'm so lost without you..." by Air Supply.

I spied David across the rink, making his way towards me, his big brown eyes peering at me longingly from under his bangs. I stood there, transfixed as he rolled closer.

Suddenly, I felt a moist hand grab mine and a stuffed-up accented boy say: "Will you be my partner?" It was Saguy, the Israeli exchange student. 'cept we all called him Soggy, on account of he perpetually runny nose.

Now I was raised to be nice, and I have not always done well by that instruction, but at 8, my conditioning was strong. As I skated away with Soggy his sniffling, asthmatic breath was like my heart, wheezing disapointment in every lap around the rink.

David is now a lawyer and a doctor or something and last time I saw him (5 years ago) he was actually with a girl from our kindergarten class who had always taunted me.











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