:: part 3 ::

Robert Frost

Class of 2000

:: part 2 ::

Update: Post-Traumatic Dating Disorder (PTDD)

The Republican

The Deceiver

The Absolute Worst Date Ever

Mr. Migraine

Little Side Burn Guy

The Hanger On


Smelly Cat

:: part 1 ::

No Socks Guy

The Shrub



the yogi

Mr. Playoffs

the dodge

the yawner


the wedding guy

The 40 Year-old Orthopedic Surgeon


Philosophy Guy

Spanking the Yogi

  :: little side burn guy ::
I was excited about this one. He seemed smart and clever and could even talk critically about the war against terror. We had a fun email correspondence and seemed to have a lot in common. And I became convinced that I was going to marry him. God, I'm easy. But then I finally talked to him on the phone and I did not get a sexy vibe from his voice. I don't need to date a truck driver, but his voice was just not manly enough.

But we met for drinks anyway. It was fine. We beamed our business cards to each other on our Palm Pilots. Mine beams from the front, but his beams from the side. And we giggled about this. This was the most erotic part of the evening. Yeah. He was a very small and skinny guy. A few inches taller than me, but I could probably take him. He also had beautifully sculpted side burns, which was a little strange.

After drinks, I was supposed to go to a party in Park Slope, but there was a monsoon-like rainstorm going on and my shitty $3 umbrella had already broken. He was going to a party nearby and invited me along. I had a great time at the party and totally got along with his friends. In fact, I wish they were my friends. Not that my friends aren't cool (MY FRIENDS ARE WAY COOL), but these people seemed like people I would want to be friends with. A lot of people there had been on the same dating web site. Then it was revealed that Side Burn and I were on our first web site date. He became embarrassed and increasingly withdrawn. I chatted happily with his friends. Maybe this freaked him out. We shared a cab home and it felt a little awkward. We exchanged some emails, then I went on vacation, then we stopped emailing.


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