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:: spanking the yogi :: (why I am now on a dating hiatus)Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2001 2:51 PM Subject: Re: hi anyway, wanted to tell you thank you for you and for helping make my stay in NYC so perfect. oh, and by the way, you've upped the standard for coolness of jewish women. they are usually really retarded, but you're awesome. Sent: Friday, August 31, 2001 4:51 AM Subject: Re: hi hey there - was it something I said? haven't heard back from you. I know . . . it was the cool jewish woman comment. or you're seeing someone else. or you're actually married. or undergoing gender reassignment. regardless, I hope you are well, wonder what is happening for you, and thought I'd let you know I'm thinking of you. hope you have a great day. Subject: Re: hi Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2001 11:06:07 -0400 yes, i was insulted by the comment that "jewish women are usually really retarded". what's up with that? i thought you were cooler than that! if that was supposed to be a compliment, it wasn't. Subject: Re: hi Date: Fri, August 31, 2001 4:03 PM that was, in its most basic form, a feeble attempt at expressing a sense of relief and sense of wonder . . . in all my years of growing up Jewish (28), its been the rare handful of people - and especially women - who have the heart and will to do things, and think things that cross what is traditionally a thick border of expectations and pre-planning of what is to become of their lives. not to say there aren't big-hearted and compassionate and wonderful people out there, but it seems to me (and for all my open minded observations, I can be as narrow thinking as anyone) that its not terribly common that someone would choose to half their income in the name of their integrity, live in co-ops, eat tofu (I guess, find someone like me). . I suppose growing up on Long Island has left me with what might be an outdated perspective of the Jewish culture, but I have found that its the rare and special exception that do things differently - so in a poorly worded way, what I was trying to say, is that you're different in a wonderful way. I suppose the way I put it was like trying to describe the beauty of a rose by saying that at least its not some stinky, rotted autumn leaf. Or wow, that sushi is great considering its a piece of rotting flesh. So for my lack of verbal acumen, I bow and apologize. For my lack of tact, the same. For the fact that I think you're different and cool, that stays the same. That I couldn't tell you that in a much nicer, direct way, well, I'm a putz. I try. Subject: Re: hi Date: August 31, 2001, 4:33 PM i appreciate your attempt to apologize, but i still think you're missing the point. generalizations (especially negative ones) based on someone's ethnicity or religion or gender are offensive. sure, we all make them, mostly when we think we're in "safe" territory, like talking to one of our own. i regularly encounter negative stereotypes of jewish women, and i don't expect to hear them from you. i would think that someone who has traveled as extensively as you have and had experience with people of so many different cultures would not make such a parochial comment. Being from Long Island does not give you license to make negative comments about jewish women. maybe your next cultural journey should be to become more acquainted with the members of your own tribe. |
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